After the shocking draw in last night's game between the very ill-trained and extremely poorly-funded Yemen soccer team and the exceptionally well-trained and magnanimously-funded Qatar team...president Hadi made the following important calls (may or may not be in following order as operator connecting and eavesdropping on calls was confused as hell):
- Called Yemen soccer team in Qatar & congratulated for superior performance/game.
- Called Emir of Qatar, apologized for embarrassing Qatar, & blamed on Saleh.
- Called Saleh & warned of Qatar & it being supported by Islah's Muhsen & Hamid.
- Called press & confirmed that Saleh & Houthis are in cahoots.
- Called Muhsin/Hamid/Islah & assured full support of state against Saleh & Houthis.
- Called operator & diverted future calls from Muhsin/Hamid/Islah calls to inbox.
- Called army & ordered to maintain neutrality while Muhsin/Hamid/Islah crushed.
- Called Saudi Arabia & GCC & warned from Saleh & 'Shiite' Houthis.
- Called U.S. & warned that Saleh, Houthis, & AQAP will target U.S./Saudi/World.
- Called Houthis & advised dropping Saleh & fighting AQAP to become state partners.
- Called UNSC & submitted names of Saleh, Houthis, & AQAP to sanctions committee.
- Called soccer team promising now vacant government posts if they scored for 'Him'.
- Called room service asking for popcorn as he sank into couch to enjoy game/show...
